A couple of things recently happened that reminded me of just where and who I am runner and blogger wise. I took to heart what happened and or was said to me and have given a lot of thought to these events. I share them with you just to show how quickly I can lose focus on my training goals. Also to express what the true priorities are I should have for both my running and blogging instead of what I may recently had been doing.
Running - I will be the first to admit I still consider myself a very novice runner. More exactly maybe a seasoned beginner that has had some success. I have a very long way to go to get to where I would like to be. I know I have a problem of wanting to be at or believing I am at a level far beyond where I physically am. So what I think I can do or should be able to do is a long ways off from what I am capable of. In many ways I am still on square one and am having trouble getting further down the path than that first square. It’s not that I do not want to do the training or that I want to take short cuts. Instead I often find what I should be doing is not in sync with what I actually am attempting. A result of this is unfortunately about the destinations called races that have taken me off course so to speak. I wanted to prove to a lot of people including myself that I could do the distances. I have over the last few years done most of the shorter endurances race distances up to and including the marathon. Ok, so now what. The endurance aspect is now done and known to me and it’s time to back track and do the proper conditioning and training to now run these distances. I think that is the primary reason I am doing my back to basics approach for next year to really get into shape and just learn to run.
I was reminded of this at the 5k this past weekend. Since the marathon I have run 6 times over roughly 6 weeks. I wanted to take a break from running but decided to do the No Boundaries course during this off period. I’ve done OK in class so I assumed I would do Ok at the 5k race with little to no training. What I found was that even my walking endurance has gone away. I can’t say that I necessarily struggled during the race but it was not as easy as it was just a couple of months ago. I need to focus on the training before me and take advantage to the opportunity I have through the No Boundaries class. I have some other tools and plans for dieting and conditioning that I plan to start this week as well. So that is my priority now, to try and build the best me possibly from the physical perspective. Build it and the rest will follow in time. It is all about the journey and not the destinations (races) that I have been too preoccupied about for the last year. So the Freaky 5k was a true reminder that very quickly I had already lost focus on what my goals were for next year.
A Possible Attitude/Mental Reason - I do think attitude wise that this may be driven by my age. Over the last year or so I have begun to worry about the age thing a little. There is so much I would like to do in life that I just hope there is enough time to do it all. Certainly family is at the top of the list here. I want to be around to see my kids grown and have a family. Starting as late as I did it worries me some that I may not get to see some of the things I would like. Even with running I almost feel I am on a shortened clock of sorts. Between my age, weight, moderately bad knees and weak left foot I wonder how much time I have as a runner. I sometime think I have just so many runs, miles and or races in me before the body goes and it is all over. I know this sounds silly but you never know when something injury or health wise may put an end to it. So I think I have been pushing myself to hit some of these goals or distances before my time is up. Do I really believe this? No probably not. I’ll write later in the week about some recent runners whose success is motivating me and helping to change this thinking. But I do think that I may only have a handful of year to run. Also, mentally I need to change by not being in the “survival” mode to just try and finish these distances. It is now time to run these races for the fun of it and to share more with my family and friends wanting to experience them as well.
At the end of the day what I am feeling and being told by you the reader is just be myself. To spend the time to really work through the process of becoming a runner and more fit. Write about that journey and all of the experiences that I have along the way. So that is what I will do. The blog will try to remain true to what I originally set out to do, document my journey and the impact of it to my family. So thank you all for your comments and for hanging in there. I do think the upcoming months will be some very interesting ones conditioning and training wise.